Bruce Aitchison: Navigating Social Media, Family Life, and Public Speaking with Heart

Ever wondered how a small-town lad from the Borders could become a beloved social media personality and a charitable force? Meet Bruce Aitchison, who takes us through his incredible journey from Galashiels Academy to the bustling streets of Hong Kong and back to Scotland. Bruce’s career is as multifaceted as they come—teacher, business developer, and a passionate advocate for the My Name's Doddie Foundation. Join us as Bruce opens up about his family life, his wife's hockey achievements, and the early influences that ignited his love for comedy and performance.

From playing a panto dame to hosting prominent rugby club events, Bruce shares his experiences in performing and public speaking. He delves into the lessons learned from mentors and the joy of connecting with people through award ceremonies and spontaneous interactions. Listen as Bruce discusses his approach to social media, turning his Facebook page into a heartfelt tribute for his kids, and the delicate balance of sharing family life online while maintaining privacy.

Parenting in the digital age, the transformative power of sports, and building a legacy through small, meaningful actions are just a few of the themes we touch on. Bruce reflects on his time in Hong Kong, the impact of sports on personal growth, and the importance of empathy and kindness in shaping future generations. With stories that are both entertaining and insightful, Bruce Aitchison's episode is a treasure trove of life lessons, making it a must-listen for anyone seeking inspiration and a good laugh.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Bruce Aitchison
• 6:18 Life's Lessons and Speaking Experiences
• 18:50 Social Media and Family Love
• 24:47 Parenting, Technology, and Family Activities
• 38:34 Sport, Collective, and Global Experiences
• 45:54 Building Legacy Through Life Experiences
• 1:01:10 Family Stories and Entertaining Personalities
• 1:09:09 Dreams of Entertainment and Acceptance
• 1:17:39 Embracing Individuality and Positive Impact

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:21

Hello and welcome to another episode of Insert Buzzword Podcast. We're delighted to be joined this week by Bruce Aitchison. Bruce, how about you kick things off and tell us a bit about yourself?

Speaker 2: 0:34

I'm from the Borders originally still feels like home. A wee village called Stow where my wife teases me because she says I make out like my childhood was like Urwuli, but a lot of it was Urwuli like. Went to Galashiels Academy. Absolutely loved school. It was a big social event for me. Didn't do as well as I probably could have or should have, but I had a wheel of a time.

Speaker 2: 0:57

Left school. Didn't really know I don't know if we talk about careers at some point, but didn't really know. Got into PE college. Went to do a four-year degree in blowing a whistle and throwing a beanbag. Left uni. Went straight to Hong Kong. Had four years in Hong Kong Incredible place.

Speaker 2: 1:17

Came home because we felt like we needed to sort of move on professionally, I suppose. My wife got a job in a private boarding school in the middle of Scotland so that gave me a bit of a target of where to apply. I was working at Lawrence Hill Academy in Alloa. My wife then got a job in Edinburgh. We moved to Edinburgh, which pretty much has been home ever since. I was a teacher for about 22 years and then in November I left teaching and took a jump into business development, which has been a real challenge and I'm sure we'll get to that being a social media loudmouth, working with the my Name's Doddy Foundation to try and raise awareness of MND and raise funds to try and find a cure and medication for it.

Speaker 2: 2:15

I'm dad to two girls, maisie and Katie, who are just the world, married to Nikki, who is long-suffering but this year played for Scotland at under 45 hockey. She's gone back and been playing hockey. It's a bit of her time now and life is busy. I have my own podcast. I like to speak at events. I like to get involved in charitable things. If someone asks me to do something, I tend to say yes, I'd be like this podcast and I try and take as many opportunities as I possibly can. And life's been pretty good for the most part.

Speaker 1: 2:59

Brilliant. That was a succinct introduction or summary, given the various things you've done or been involved in.

Speaker 2: 3:06

It's as brief as I've ever been, I think.

Speaker 1: 3:12

Where would you say that kind of drive or interest in doing events podcasts? How have you ended up in these scenarios or situations?

Speaker 2: 3:27

There's a few things. It feels like I'm going to be on a psychiatrist's couch with this one, but I'm the youngest of three boys, so my oldest brother, stuart, is six years older than me. Craig's four years older than me, so I'm the youngest brother. Look at me, mummy. Look at me, listen to me, mummy. Look how special I am. Mummy is probably how it went.

Speaker 2: 3:47

My oldest brother it was a very, very able sportsman, footballer, rugby player. And middle brother is very creative as a, as a poet in scots, being an english teacher, teacher, printed all over the place, fabulous poet. And then me, who's okay at sport, and I actually like to sing and dance, but 30 years ago it just wasn't. I didn't see it as important as kicking a ball or throwing a ball. So I always loved to perform. I loved TV. When I look back at the olden days of only having four channels, I loved to perform. I loved TV. When I look back at the olden days of only having four channels, I loved comedy. I loved performers. I loved people that could do more than two or three things.

Speaker 2: 4:33

And then, when I became a teenager, one of the local rugby clubs in Gala called Gala YM. They were the one that had the big rugby dinner and it was in the volunteer hall, which is the town hall in the middle of the town. Probably seats then I probably thought it seated 500, but probably seats 200, 250 people. And as a teenager, me and my pals used to collect the glasses at these rugby dinners and we're talking old rugby dinners, we're talking men. Only the only women in the place were behind the bar and in the kitchen. You know. So, times have moved on and so have the stories. But I can remember really vividly standing at the back of the room next to the bar and it would be table service. If you'd get away from a table, you'd go across, you'd get the little bit of paper that had scribbled eight laggers and two pints of Guinness on it paper that had scribbled eight laggers and two pints of Guinness on it. You'd go back, you'd get the order, you'd get the money and you'd get to pocket some of the change. But watching these guys at the top table after the meal, of all those people in stitches, laughing or hanging on their word and dropping in names of people they'd played with or against or places they'd been, and I just I can remember thinking I want to do that. But I also wanted to be. You know the people that were on TV. I loved everything. I loved performing shows. I loved cop shows, I loved the sports. I loved everything about it and I've always. Unfortunately, being wee, fat, bald and ugly means you didn't really get a shot on TV, but I just loved it and the older I've gotten, the more probably comfortable I am in my skin.

Speaker 2: 6:19

When I was working at Tyne Castle High School you know, city centre Edinburgh school has everything kids going off to university and kids really struggling with all sorts of things in life we did a pantomime and the first year we did the panto there was a whole lot of staff in it. What a laugh we had. But the kids didn't really buy into it because it was new and they didn't really know it. So I was the panto dame and like some of my happiest memories. And then the next year there was fewer staff and it was more kids. And then by the third year there was only two members of staff in the Panto and I was still the Panto Dame. So I did Panto Dame for three years and just loved it. I absolutely loved it.

Speaker 2: 7:00

So any opportunity to talk, to sing, to dance and people don't really want to listen to me sing or watch me dance, and quite a lot of people don't want to hear me talk either. But I love it and I've just always enjoyed it. And when I look back on the beginning of some of the first speeches I gave or talks I gave, they were really bad, but I think that's how it starts. That's how anything starts. You're probably quite bad at it and then you learn, and I've been lucky in that. When I became a teacher, I replicated what my teachers did, but I had really good teachers.

Speaker 2: 7:37

Now that doesn't mean I was really good at the start, but it meant I had a good foundation. Before I found myself when I coached at rugby, I had I'd had really good coaches and I had this idea of how I wanted to coach. When you become a parent, I think I probably borrowed a lot of what mom and dad had done and then found my own way and as a speaker, I was borrowing other people's things and I was using other people's things, but they weren't really you and it wasn't really true. So it's taken me some time and now I feel that I love to host events. So I'm not necessarily talking, I can ad lib things and I can speak to people and get the gauge of the room and I just love it. I absolutely love it and, like I said at the beginning, I tend to say yes to almost any offer. If I can get there, I'll do it any offer.

Speaker 1: 8:25

If I can get there, I'll do it.

Speaker 3: 8:27

What is?

Speaker 1: 8:27

the favourite or experience that you've?

Speaker 2: 8:32

Sorry, I missed the first bit of that.

Speaker 1: 8:36

Do you have a favourite event that you've hosted?

Speaker 2: 8:39

Nah, just the last one. I've been lucky in that I started off. Uh, we mentioned off air about persia rugby club. So persia rugby club's a really special one to me because they probably gave me my first.

Speaker 2: 8:53

Andy cummings asked me to go and speak at their dinner, or 20 years ago, or not quite 18 years ago maybe, but I'd done things in hong kong when I lived in Hong Kong. You know, every opportunity I got, I did it and I was free. So people asked me to do stuff because I just wanted the opportunity. And now I've got a few repeat things. I get to do the Scottish Land and Estates Awards, the Making it Happen Awards, which is these awards ceremonies are so positive, they're such lovely, lovely things. These award ceremonies are so positive, they're such lovely, lovely things. I do the Dundee Leisure and Culture Sports Awards, which is just, you leave there 10 foot tall because there's all these amazing people in the city of Dundee doing great things to make sport happen and make lives better for people. So you just you feel inspired when you go to these things. And then now we're at a point where rugby clubs are becoming 100 years old or 150 years old, and to be asked to go and speak at a really monumental point in an organization's history. Just how honored I am, like, how grateful I am to be given those opportunities. I am like how grateful I am to be given those opportunities and at some point, you know the phone will stop and I'll, but I'm, I'm going to milk it for everything. It's worth because I just love the people you meet. People come up to me so I spoke recently at Pennycook and I actually lived in Pennycook for a couple of years and I was speaking and I mentioned that I grew up in Stow and this guy came up to me, went do you know? You know Fraser Stirling for the Boo Farm. I went yeah, he was, you're above me at school, I don't know. Oh, I'm his cousin, I'm from Hillensborough and you know you make connections with people that otherwise you would find really difficult. I'm not sure what other situation I would be in to make those connections. And that's really why I do it. It's to see people, to meet more people. I'm just fascinated. That's why you guys are asking me questions. I'm used to being the one asking questions, but I just love speaking to people. I love learning about people.

Speaker 2: 10:58

My dad tells a story and you might have to edit this, but we were on holiday at Eurocamp in Germany and my dad came to pick me up one night bedtime from the playground, and he tells this story now and he laughs his head off. He said there's only one person in this world that could have kids in a german campsite playing jerry's and brits. You know, I didn't. I didn't know what it was, I don't think I had any concept, though it was. I don't know how old I was at the time, but I just, wherever, wherever I go, I love to speak to folk. I was walking on the street in in this middle edinburgh today and I saw this couple pushing a pram and they were looking at their phones. They obviously didn't know where to go and I just said, can I help? And they just needed to find the bus station. So I was. You know, I just I love it. I love speaking to people. It it absolutely fills me up awesome.

Speaker 3: 11:56

I didn't realize. I was a bit like that myself. It was our mutual friend fraser who was like it's actually your superpower. You don't realize it. I'll chat to everyone without realizing. Women over the counter, someone at the bus stop uh yeah, I got a buzz out of that too. Like what, when you're doing the public speaking, what is it you're craving? Like what, what? What fix do you get from doing?

Speaker 2: 12:15

it. It's that. It's that thing you hear people talking about. You know you get such a buzz, you get such a high that that I don't. I don't get nervous, I get excited like I look forward to it.

Speaker 3: 12:29

You can say that myself, like a professional sportsman, the same feeling, right, the nerves and excitement, but it's how you frame it in your mind yeah, that's it.

Speaker 2: 12:37

And, like I, you know, I love sport and I still play whenever I can. If someone asks, I tend, as I say, I tend to say yes, but um, I was never quick and I'm even slower. You know, I'm not very good, I'm not very fit. I still love it but it it's not the same build-up to it and that's probably what I now get from these events and you know I get some nice comments but I work hard, I think about it. I, you know, I prepare for it.

Speaker 2: 13:04

There are quite a lot of situations now where I can't fly by the seat of my pants because I've built up enough in the bank where I can see things coming and I can read a room, but the preparation it winds me up. When you get people who are not speakers and they don't do any preparation. You know if you're not very good at something, you should overdo your preparation in my opinion. So that frustrates me. But I love speaking to people and now we're at a point where the laughter is great. But I've also got probably enough in the bank. Probably enough in the bank and because I'm I'm working my voice and the room and the acoustics, there are times where I try and make a point. So there are two or three things that I hold really dear. One is doddy doddy's impact on me, doddy weir's impact on me. He gave me great confidence and you know I can tell that story at some point. Um, he gave me great confidence. So when dory was diagnosed with mnd, that's likely become one of the things people identify me with. That this year, this calendar year, I've had quite a number of people who have said well, we thought you worked for the foundation. I don't work for the foundation, but I I give my energy and my enthusiasm to the foundation when I can.

Speaker 2: 14:29

The other thing that I hold really dear and this week has absolutely smacked me between the eyes because somebody that I've known for a long time decided that they couldn't continue and took their own life on monday is mental health, and it's another story for for maybe another time. But a friend of mine in hong kong made pin badges that said are you okay on them? And it looks like ruck. And because I go to rugby dinners, he said wear that on your lapel and hopefully people ask you about it. And I've given some of those badges out, but I always try at some point in the evening to get some kind of message across about mental health, about speaking, about checking in on people, about the people who are not here. Do we know why they're not here? Have we checked in on them? Because it's there and it's hidden beautifully by the people who are suffering. But them knowing that there's somebody there, I think goes a long way.

Speaker 2: 15:29

And then the third part to all of this, which probably is the umbrella to everything, and that's we just need to try and be happy and be nice to each other. Kindness is my number one thing above all. You know a roll down, I think, think, but sometimes it's quoted other people. If you can be anything, be kind, and to me that's absolutely it, um, and you don't have to say please and thank, you do, but it's more of with your actions, show your kindness, show you care, and if we can do that then we'll make our wee bit of the world a better place and the ripple effect will be the world becomes a better place. So those three things are probably my, my pillars that the fight to try and get a cure and and medication for MND and and to make sure Doddy's legacy lasts mental health, especially in in men. And then be kind.

Speaker 3: 16:27

Incredible. Where can we start? Pick it, Tristan Jeez.

Speaker 2: 16:37

I don't have a platform Social media. My happiness is egg-shaped. Alter Ego has a platform and I probably do abuse it. I milk it for all it's worth. It's what I've got. I don't have 7 million followers on Twitter, but what I have I'm going to try and use to make the world a better place, if I can.

Speaker 2: 17:03

I have this big, grandiose feeling. I'd love to buy the world a better place if I can. I have this big, grandiose feeling now. You know, I'd love to buy the world a Coke. You know, if I, if I win the lottery, if I win the Euro millions, I've got this really clear idea of what I want to do with the money, because that's it.

Speaker 2: 17:21

Like I would, I would love to just every day wake up and go and help other people, because the selfish bit, the Joey Tribbiani bit on friends, is there's no unselfish deed, and I completely agree with them. I completely agree because whenever I help somebody, I get it back immediately, straight away. I get it back because I love it. It absolutely fills me up. You know, just helping that couple up. You know, just helping that couple today. You know I've told you that story because it made me feel really good that I directed two people and they're kidding a pram to a bus station. It's that big a deal, but it made me feel that much better and I felt pretty crap today. So feeling that much better was pretty significant.

Speaker 3: 18:30

The social media. How do you deal with the negativity on there? I block it.

Speaker 2: 18:37

Sure, it's not that they'll care. Very early on I blocked Donald Trump. I blocked Piers Morgan. I blocked Joey Barton a few months ago.

Speaker 2: 18:51

I report quite a lot of people If I see something. I'm like the little kid in the class that tells the teacher I report almost anything I see that I think is wrong and then it gives you the option to block it. So I get where you're going with that I think is wrong. And then it gives you the option to block it. So I get, I get where you're going with that, I think, because there is there's a lot of junk on it and people say to me oh, you know, I'm off Facebook, I'm off my Facebook's. Great, there's. There's nothing on my Facebook that is negative because if there is, I get rid of it because I don't need it and I certainly don't go chasing it.

Speaker 2: 19:32

I try and fill up my own Facebook with positivity. Somebody said to me in fact it was quite a long time ago they said why do you put everything on Facebook? I made this decision really early. I wasn't on MySpace or Bebo or any of those things. Because I thought why are you put everything on facebook? And I made this decision really early I wasn't on myspace or bibo or any of those things, because I thought why, why are you doing that? And you would have people that you sat next to at work every day going oh, why have you not accepted my request? And well, I see every day, why did? But it?

Speaker 2: 19:59

It's morphed and now I've gone supersonic. You know everybody's on it. But my social media is a love letter to my kids because I don't keep diaries. We don't have photo albums in the drawers anymore. My social media is a love letter to my kids so when I'm not here anymore, they'll be able to go onto my facebook and go. I wonder what we did on the 6th of july. I wonder what we did on the 23rd of december, and they'll be able to. They'll be able to see it all and they'll be able to see the things I've written and what their dad was like, and they'll be able to show their kids. So come and see when granddad did this thing.

Speaker 3: 20:38

Here it can I know right now love letters from my kids that's where my facebook is.

Speaker 2: 20:44

Um, you know, people take photos and it stays on their phone and you know I would be heartbroken if that was where all my my stuff was and my phone disappeared. It's all. It's a you know, and there's obvious risks, right, I'm putting myself out there. People know who my kids are. They know their names, all that, all that. I've kind of weighed it up that actually probably not many people give a rat's ass who they are. But it's funny when we go places and my kids are called Maisie and Katie, but I christened them a long time ago Mayhem and Chaos, so sometimes when people meet them they'll go are you Mayhem or Chaos? And it's. You know, my dad was in Tesco last week and he said, oh. The guy behind the counter said, oh, I see Bruce is doing this and he must be on your Facebook. And I say, ah, he is.

Speaker 1: 21:35

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 21:38

And at the beginning, and I was probably still a bit uncomfortable with myself and who I was. But now I'm probably as comfortable as I'm ever going to be with who I am, and that's been in the last few years that I don't apologize anymore. I'm not. But if people say to me, oh, you know especially where I'm from, oh, you're on that Facebook. Yep, yeah, I am.

Speaker 2: 22:00

And if you don't like me, you know, billy Connolly, I remember years ago, did a sketch and he was saying you know, people would come up to him and go you know, I don't like it when you swear and he's like well, turn it off. Yeah, and people are quite nice to me and they'll say, oh, I like what you do on your social media. And I usually make a joke of it, of myself, and say, oh, you, you know it's just white noise and say, oh, no, I like it and that's really not like. That's them doing the thing I tell people I want to do make the world a better place by saying something nice and that's really cool. But quite often we don't know how to deal with that. When people are nice to us, you're like all right, uh, thank you. But now now I'm getting better at saying thanks very much. I really appreciate that and I mean it. Um, it's genuine, like if somebody gives me a compliment it's a brilliant thing, it it makes you feel better and that's.

Speaker 2: 22:54

You know, I've been a teacher for a long time and I I used to say and I used to preach this to kids that if you meet them with kindness first because you never know, like I can remember having oh, but I only called them that, yeah, but if that was the hundredth time we'd been called that. That's why I punched you. So you're right, the thing you did was that big and the thing they did was wrong. But what you have to understand is that's probably been going on for a long time. So if we can just be kind to folk Now, I was as horrible as anybody at school.

Speaker 2: 23:28

Like, I look back and there's things I regret. There's people I spoke to, there's things I said you know I'm, I'm no angel, I'm not. I hope I'm not preaching, but yeah, it's probably because of that that I've become the way I am, because there's so many things in the past where I think you are horrible, like what were you playing at? Who were you? And a lot of it was because I didn't know who I was and I was pretending to be something and I was probably projecting that onto somebody else.

Speaker 3: 23:57

I like the chat about the kids on social media. I want to ask Tristan a question. Tristan, what are my kids names?

Speaker 1: 24:06

Theo. And I forget the girls name Melody Melody.

Speaker 3: 24:17

Neither of those are their actual names, and it was for social media, because when they were born, I was quite active on socials. Those aren't their full names. That's what we call them, that's what they're known as school, but those aren't their actual names. Are you saying like Royals? Those aren't their full names.

Speaker 1: 24:33

That's what we call them, that's what they're known as school, but those aren't their actual names. Are you saying like royals of 20 names?

Speaker 3: 24:37

Because, like I'm the love letter to your kids thing, that's hit me right in the feels where I'm, like we were for the company. We, I, we were active on social media, putting ourselves out there and vlogging and, like you said, people come up on the street or at events. They'd be like I saw that. Do you know who I am? Nobody's really nice to me and I'm very grateful that you watched. So there was at the time there was a little bit of nervousness around. But you know what we want the kids, the boy and the girl to be in it yeah, in. But you know what we want the kids, the boy and the girl to be in it, um, yeah, interesting.

Speaker 2: 25:14

So, like your, your, two girls are they aware of what you do on the internet? Yeah, yeah, very much so, um, but they it's interesting with themselves because they don't really post on their social media, um, and they, you know, I've personally, I think it's something to be embraced. They spend time on it. They had it before, they were supposed to all those things, but it's monitored, it's me, they're mine. We talk about it a lot. They're similar to their dad in that they only have stuff, one they want to see, so they don't see stuff if they don't see stuff If they do. Well, we've spoken about it. I think this is going to sound really, but there's an educational bit to it. Now, I'm not saying that there are going to be A-star students in algebra. That's not the education I'm talking about. The education is there. They're seeing other things. They're seeing other people, that there's things that they share with us. You know we were pretty active with our little family whatsapp group and you know we share things on it and the world's a different place.

Speaker 2: 26:27

Adults, you know, we've all been in that moment where we said, oh, it wasn't like that when we were kids. And you're right, and I'm glad, because otherwise, what were we doing? You know, things have moved on and we find it difficult. There's bits I find difficult. My oldest daughter was away on school camp for a week, no phone, I think, eight days. She absolutely loved it, absolutely loved it. Didn't miss it once, just playing with pals out on doing expeditions. It had an absolute ball. Now that was never going to be right and now I don't need my phone anymore. But what an amazing detox.

Speaker 2: 27:04

And you know, we, we play, we watch tv together. You know those, those are one of the things. Those are the things I do miss. Right, tv's crap really, really bad. And you watch things on demand. Now, as a kid you had to be watching bbc one at half past seven or you didn't see question sport like that and and we all watched question sport, the whole the family sat there. But we also watched stuff that wasn't for us. But you watched it on the couch next to your mum and dad, who could explain stuff to you or could skirt over the stuff that you weren't ready for. Eastenders, when Mark was diagnosed with HIV and Arthur cleaned all the cutlery in the sink. Now I must have been I don't know eight, nine, that's too much for me. I watched that whole thing with my mum and my mum was able to put it into really simple terms and we don't have that now.

Speaker 2: 28:08

There's very few people, I think, watch the show together. But there's also fewer shows that are for like game shows, like we probably all grew up watching game shows. I loved game shows. Now they're rubbish because they're full of celebrities you've never heard of that, didn't know anything came like. I mean even stuff like bullseye. They, things like that were, were amazing and you all watched them on a sunday night because it was just what you did. There wasn't those other distractions. Those are things we make a point of, but not if not everybody does. But it's also there's very few shows. Please, everybody.

Speaker 2: 28:53

Now there's not something in it for everybody. There's not much family view like we love it or hate it. We watch, um, britain's got talent and I cry every week at britain's got talent, but it's, it's as close to a variety show as you're going to get. That we would watch, you know, saturday Night at the Palladium and all those things that we watched when we were kids with our parents, because that was what entertainment was, because actually the best bit is watching it with the folk you're watching it with. We've all been to a crap concert and watched a rubbish movie, but we enjoyed it because the people we were with 100%.

Speaker 3: 29:37

How old are your daughters?

Speaker 2: 29:40

Soon to be 15 and 13. So they'll be 15, 13 in the summer, so they're and it. You know I miss the wee ones, but I'm enjoying every stage Like I loved when they were really wee. I loved the, you know, picking them up and the cuddles and the fullness. I loved all of that. I loved watching them learn. I love watching them go off into the playground on their own. You know I used to hate dropping them off at nursery because I just wanted to be there Like I hated that Well as I speak with them, can you stay for pizza, Dad?

Speaker 3: 30:16

They're so bad Like don't believe, darling, I want to. So bad, but I'm not allowed.

Speaker 2: 30:22

Yeah, it just those things. And then they would go to school and you know, you can just see them learning and filling themselves up and the things they find interesting and the tough times that they have. And mine are lucky, they do sport and they do various other things and it's great to see them. They're now at a point where they don't need me all the time, which is tough because I'm obviously a bit clingy, but they can do so many things and we're now at a point in life where we can do more kind of grown-up things and they can come along to things and we can do things on a.

Speaker 2: 31:04

It's never going to be an even keel, but you know what I mean. They can be at more adult stuff and they, they can speak to most people, they're going to go over the shyness and I just, uh, I just love it, I absolutely love it and they're, they're good kids, they're really good kids. They they test you obviously, but, uh, when you, when you can see them becoming adults and I remember I would get a bit shirty with people and this is just me being awkward, but people say, oh, you know, being a dad, it's a big responsibility and I would always say opportunity, because that's that's how I see.

Speaker 2: 31:42

You're right, there is responsibility, but you should always be responsible, um, I just saw it as an opportunity. Now, that doesn't mean they're particularly being driven, I don't think, um, but we're. I want them to be passionate above above all else. It breaks my heart when you know I've been worked in in schools for a long time and you'd get kids who at 14, had retired from football because some idiot somewhere has told them they're never going to make it. So they go. Well, if I'm not going to make, I'm going to give up. You know, or you know they stop drawing, or oh, I can't sing, or those things really get my goal. So my kids to be passionate.

Speaker 2: 32:26

My youngest, a swimmer, jesus a swimmer, she six times a week and just loves to stop watch, loves being tested, wants to be measured. And then my oldest is is far more. She's the creative one. She sings and dances and acts, and it's a different thing because she's measured by someone's opinion. So we had a situation 18 months ago where my youngest didn't qualify for a competition at swimming and my oldest didn't get in to show that she'd been in the year before. So it was an interesting one to deal with because the youngest one was well, it's entirely objective. It's on a stopwatch. You just want fast enough, there's no, the coaches want you to be in it, we want you to be in it. You want to be in it, we're not fast enough. So keep working. You know you're still yet. Blah, blah, blah. The oldest one was in the year before and then somebody's decided you're not in this year. That's tough because I'm trying to explain someone's opinion and I've been a coach who has decided I'm picking him instead of him. I've been a coach who has decided I'm picking him instead of him and sometimes it's come down to just the gut that I'm going with him. That's tough to explain because then this one's going well, why is your gut not saying me? And you're like I've been. So I have a bit of sympathy with the teacher that said you're not in.

Speaker 2: 33:50

But I'm not sad that the two of them failed, I'm not sad that they had to deal with that and get over that. And they've both had to deal with a fair bit of failure and one of the things that makes me the proudest is they both still love what they do. They're not doing it for the success, they're doing it because they really love doing it. There's nothing that says my youngest is going to win a gold medal and there's nothing that says my oldest is going to be on the West End. But they love what they do and we've preached to them they're unlucky that their mum and dad are both teachers by trade. But we've said, look, we'll keep taking you, we'll keep encouraging you, we'll keep doing what we do. But the first sign of you not being passionate about it, we're probably going to pull the plug. Um, because there then has to be something else and you know, adults are the same.

Speaker 2: 34:40

There's a whole lot of people who, who don't have a passion, they don't have a an outlet for their creativity or their thinking or their physical energy, or, and that that makes me sad.

Speaker 2: 34:53

It wasn't that long ago that everybody went to the working men's club to, you know, to be involved and to volunteer, or the members of the bowling club, or they volunteered at the rugby or the football, or they were in the local amateur dramatics, or that.

Speaker 2: 35:10

Those things that made a community a community and people were able to look after each other, and people saw each other all the time and shared those experiences, and those things are priceless. It's impossible to put a price tag on them. So for my, my kids, to you know, my youngest one swimming at the commie pool tonight, she's got competition all weekend. She, the alarm is set for 4 58 on a monday morning. She's in the water at 5 30 on a monday morning. That's that's not just her commitment, that's a whole family commitment. But we'll make it. Because she packs her own bag, she does her own snack, she empties her bag in the washing machine, she gets her kit ready, the stuff she's learning for. That might not win her a gold medal, but I'm hoping it's going to help make her a really positive adult, theo, my son.

Speaker 3: 36:09

He competed in his first gymnastics competition at the weekend, but his team gym they do. So it's not individual discipline, it's the team one he got. The team got silver. But we were chatting with the other parents and they were saying very similar, where it's not about the result or the outcome, it's learning to perform at a high level as part of a team and those are skills are going to take on for years to come. For sure I am not.

Speaker 2: 36:32

Everybody gets that, though that's uh. A lot of parents will say that's what they want. But what they say and how they behave can can be quite different things, but it's you know, and the first question you ask is did you went? You know, and we, you know, we can. You can watch as many inspirational coaches and teachers going. The first question should be did you win? You know, and we, you know, we can. You can watch as many inspirational coaches and teachers going. The first question should be did you enjoy it and all that the first question will be did you win?

Speaker 2: 36:57

When my wife comes home for hockey now I've stopped asking if she's won, because they get beat most of the time now I have to ask her did she get carded? She loses the rag because the brain's better than it's ever been, but the legs are not moving quite as quickly as she wants them to and she quite often takes exception with the umpire. So now the first question is did you get carded? Today? But I mean my wife's spectacular. I mean what a role model for two girls. She's gone back to hockey this year she got Player of the year, both indoor and outdoor, and her kids have got to see her represent Scotland under 45s and we flew across the cork to watch her play. We watched her play Ireland and England and again they're watching.

Speaker 2: 37:49

It's not in do with this, but they're watching somebody who's still passionate, still gives their all, still cares, but it's that's to me, that's the inspiration we can talk about gold medalists and professional footballers and other an inspiration. Actually, the inspirations are the people that are there every day. They're, you know, they're the, the ones that are getting you up in the morning or washing your kit, or being there to give you feedback, or, you know, the coaches, the parents, the peers. Those are, those are the role models, those are the inspirations, those are the ones that are creating champions. Yes, you may watch somebody do something on tv and you thought I want to try. That were the spark, but there's no way they were the fuel.

Speaker 3: 38:34

So, like sports played a big part of your life for a long time, then yeah, it's been everything.

Speaker 2: 38:40

It's where confidence came from. It's where, you know, teammates used to get annoyed at me. Referees definitely got annoyed at me because I never shut up Like I commentated games. I used to get annoyed at me. Referees definitely got annoyed at me because I never shut up Like I. I commentated games. I used to talk, so my, my brain was a million miles ahead of my skill or my, my physical attributes, and and then became a coach.

Speaker 2: 39:05

You know, as a PE teacher, sport I just and it's not the only thing Sometimes I get pigeonholed and I understand that, because it would suggest that sport is my everything. But I just think it's the collective. Whether it's amateur dramatics, drama, playing, music, being an orchestra, it's doing something as a collective. There's an individual element to it where you have to take responsibility, but it's contributing to a collective. And that's where my confidence came from. And I've met, I've met everything. I've met hoppers and princes, I've met people from, I don't know, almost every country on the planet. I've met every skin color. I've met every religion, every uh, you know sexual orientation. I've met everything and I've been able, I think I hope, to treat them the same, because that's that's just how it is, and going to hong kong was a massive learning curve in that, because hong kong was such a melting pot of you know, it was Chinese, but it was British, but there was the Canadians are the second biggest expat community, I think, but a lot of the Canadians were Chinese Canadians because Canada opened their you know, opened their doors when lots of Asians left after the World War, lots of Asians left after the World War. But I met Dutch people and Canadians and Kiwis and Aussies and Filipinos and it was just, I learned so much and you realized, I realized it wasn't actually all about me, the world didn't revolve around me because I went to this place and they were like you're from where you've, you've done what you like, they just you were treated as you treated them. It was an opportunity almost to not start again. But you know, I I was mixing with with people that I would never have come into contact with if it hadn't been because on a Tuesday and a Thursday we trained together and we played. On a Saturday and then we went for a beer together and then all of a sudden, we become mates and it didn't matter where you were from or how much you earned or what company you worked for, because none of that was important. Important and Hong Kong. So I would have left uni at 21 and I was going for job interviews at schools in Scotland and I was not ready to be teaching kids who were three or four years my junior and telling them about life in the world. And I wasn't ready. And I went to Hong Kong for four years for the most unbelievable educational experience where I learned about myself, about life, about the world. I saw different places and the world came to Hong Kong because it was that it's like a magnet for people Hong Kong and to come back. It was that it's like a magnet for people Hong Kong and to come back and I miss it. I miss it every day. When were you last in Hong Kong? Jan, february 23, okay, recent then. Yeah, so I've been back a few times.

Speaker 2: 42:27

I was actually in the boarding school I worked at. I'd started in August 2019. And because I'm the way I am, it was like, listen, we're planning a trip to Hong Kong, a recruitment thing to Hong Kong to meet kids and parents, to come to the school. We'd like you to go. And I said, okay, so we come to the school, we'd like you to go and I say okay. So we fly to Hong Kong. We land about an hour after we've landed I'm into my first meeting. We had a social event that night. The next day were meetings all the way through, and then on the Sunday afternoon we go to to China, shenzhen, big city, huge city. Now.

Speaker 2: 43:14

I'm familiar with all this manufacturing yeah, so Shenzhen, we're into Shenzhen and the phone goes dead. I'm not getting any reception, so I'm out of touch. We then get a taxi or a car from Shenzhen to Hong Kong airport on what must have been the Monday evening Would that be right? Tuesday evening, whatever it was and as I come back across the border, my phone starts going nuts. Are you still in China? Are you still in China? Are you still in china?

Speaker 2: 43:50

Some something's happened in a place called wuhan in china. Are you out? And I'm like, yeah, fine, we get to hong kong airport and on the tv screens there's these guys in et suits going into this wet market because some guy a bat in w Wuhan and people are getting ill. China's shutting its borders. So we've just got out. And then we fly to Heathrow. And we get to Heathrow and the news bar is there's this thing happening in China. China's going into lockdown, all this kind of thing, wow. You then fly up to Edinburgh and this thing's going crazy. Within no time at all. It's like right, school's's closing, we need to have a longer easter holiday. Everybody just thought we're getting a month. And then it turned into lockdown and covid and corona and we we were in china as that thing was happening. So I've I've almost dodged the bullet not quite a bullet, but I mean I can't imagine if we'd been there 24 hours later you know, no phone reception, nobody saying you need to get out.

Speaker 3: 45:00

Who knows what would have happened, but yes, Hong Kong and Shenzhen, but I'm genuinely like they're not irrational fears that what I say will go on the internet and it could be being listened to Well.

Speaker 2: 45:16

Hong Kong. A lot of my friends are leaving.

Speaker 3: 45:21

I was going to give you a question like what changes have you noticed going back to Hong Kong with the new security?

Speaker 2: 45:26

None, absolutely none, and it depends who you speak to. Some are saying it's changed, we're leaving. It's not the same. And other people have said how much do you pay attention to politics in the UK? That's how much we pay attention to it here. We're still living our life, we're still doing what we do.

Speaker 2: 45:44

It's Hong Kong I say this again, I'm a bit corny, maybe a bit cheesy Hong Kong for me was a land of opportunity. I met people that are friends for life and I know I could turn up in New Zealand in late and would give me a bed to sleep in, and I know if I went to Canada, daddy Lee would look after me. I went to New York, was on holiday in New York and it just so happened that two of my buddies are cafe pilots. One was on a layover in New York, one was in Toronto and managed to fly down to New York. One of my other Kowloon buddies, rugby guys, was in New York. So five guys from my rugby club, from Kowloon rugby club, went to watch the Mets in New York.

Speaker 2: 46:32

Like that it still blows my mind like what a day I had. I'm meeting guys I hadn't seen for ages, but we'd worn the same badge for a couple of seasons. We meet in New York, we go to a ball game, we have a few beers, we tell stories, we talk about how wonderful we were and I don't think I've seen I've seen Fridge since then go to a ball game. We have a few beers, we tell stories, we talk about how wonderful we were. I don't think I've seen I've seen Fridge since then and I've not seen the other three since then. But I know that if we were in New York next week we would pick up again, just like that.

Speaker 3: 47:08

China would be pre-COVID for me, long overdue visit, I think. Like china versus hong kong I guess hong kong has been become a bit more like china. Um, but in china and I just behave. Just don't be an idiot, just behave, you can't even get into. Um, don't say what you know you shouldn't to people that you shouldn't be saying it to, then you'll be fine I used to.

Speaker 2: 47:30

I used to say hong kong's like diet asia. Like I, I probably couldn't handle going to vietnam or cambodia or japan even or india or what, but hong kong almost every speaks english. You can get everything you need, but then you can dip into the culture when you want it and it was an idea and then I could go. For you know, I could go across the border into China and experience it, or you could go down to the Philippines and experience it. You could go, and that was. That was incredible for a wee boy, for a wee village in Scotland where everybody was white, everybody's mum and dad had gone to the primary school. It was an amazing place to grow up, but to then go to Hong Kong, literally go on a spaceship and went to another universe.

Speaker 3: 48:21

Amazing Bunch of time, right, but there's something I want to talk to you about. So social media love letter to your kids something I've been, I guess, sort of thinking about recently, and it's not a midlife crisis. I swear the idea that by the time your two generations no, tristan's laughing by the time your two generations down right, your great grandkids, they're not going to remember who you were, and the generation after that, like you'll be completely forgotten. So what do you think of legacy being remembered? Is it important? Do you think it will last, and where does the social media sort of play into that for you?

Speaker 2: 49:02

It does matter, but that's because of my ego. And then I know that it actually doesn't Because I've been enough places where I've been great, like I went to Hong Kong. Nobody cared. Until they knew who you were, nobody cared. So why would people in 100 years care who I am like? I get that.

Speaker 2: 49:21

But back to something I said earlier I would love to make the world a better place and I know they're not going to be putting up Bruce H and statues anywhere. I get that. But the chance to help people, the legacy won't necessarily be I remember that guy, bruce H, but if I taught somebody well or if I helped somebody, then hopefully they'll be able to help their kids or they'll be able to help their kids or they'll be able to help people can get a bit wrapped up in that stuff. I think my legacy will be I hope that my two kids make the world a better place. I hope I get to meet their kids, in which case I'll get to have a bit of an impact on them and they'll be able to tell people what their granddad was like and their granny was like, and that'll be a nice thing when I see how my in-laws and my parents are with our kids and their other grandkids. It's a beautiful thing to see, it's a really.

Speaker 2: 50:26

And it's not everybody gets that. Some people get robbed of that, and that's not everybody gets that. Some people get robbed of that and that's difficult. My lot are very lucky. The experiences they get.

Speaker 2: 50:37

To have legacy for me is important, but actually I can't waste time and energy on it. What I want to do is do as well as I can in this moment, now, and then hopefully the next one will take care of itself. I try not to worry about things that haven't happened yet and I don't worry about necessarily the future, because I can't deal with it. If I can make my little bit of the world a better place now, then hopefully it will be easier the next time. And my, my kids are. They, they're pretty good at showing empathy, they're, they're kind. It's difficult for kids to necessarily step out of what the group might watch or see, because that makes them vulnerable. But I know that they've been nice to people that maybe others haven't been and that fills me up. And those are not things I'll put on social media, because that's not what it's for, you know, and sometimes I put stuff up and I cringe a little bit of myself, but then I think actually this is because I want them to see it in 20 years time, but the the legacy bit it's so.

Speaker 2: 51:55

I mean, there's no way my parents could have said 40 years ago, five-year-old Bruce will become this thing. You know, talking of midlife crisis, I had my midlife crisis so in november 22. Um, there's no way I could have predicted where I'm sitting now. You know, I've worked in places I didn't know existed. I've met people that I watched on tv and I've become heroes and I've now got their number in my phone. But actually they're just normal people. It's just that when I didn't know them and I saw them on TV, I thought they were wow. But actually they're just nice people and I've met people that were heroes and actually I didn't like them very much because they didn't get it right.

Speaker 2: 52:44

But I've also become a bit more forgiven in my old age because maybe they just had a bad day that day, and that's. I'm trying to get better at that. I'm trying to get beyond just dipping your toe in. You need to have experienced a lot more before you can actually make a judgment, because I know people have judged me. I know people have an opinion. I know there'll be people across the street like I. I had one today where somebody I know or or who we know each other, and they completely ignore or pretended they hadn't seen me and I know they did, but for whatever reason they decided they didn't want to speak to me today, and maybe it's because I'm really annoying. They don't actually like me, or maybe it's because whatever it is, and then I feel bad about it after because I feel like what if they're having such a bad day and I could have made it better. But I'm getting. I'm also getting better at forgiving myself because that was a good question.

Speaker 3: 53:43

At what point do you stop beating yourself up for not being nice all the time?

Speaker 2: 53:49

I'm my own worst critic. There's people who know, like you see, social media and somebody posted something recently about I hope your life's as good as it looks on Facebook, and that's true, and there's an element of that with me. Somebody I used to work with said maybe people need to know that it's not all great Bruce, and I posted and I posted something tonight saying I've had a really crap, like I'm really sad because on Monday somebody I know took his own life and it's been hellish. It's been really, really tough and I've found it really difficult and he questioned so much everybody does what does he quit, what could have done or more could have, what should have said, where should have been? You do that, but you do that in so many instances.

Speaker 2: 54:43

I'm pretty tough on myself and I think I hope that's what is making me the person I am, because you know I've mentioned a few types.

Speaker 2: 54:53

I've said things to people that are really horrible, really horrible, and I don't know why I did it and I shouldn't have done it, and I can say sorry, but actually the damage has probably been done.

Speaker 2: 55:08

So how do I make it better? Well, I've got to make sure I get it right from now on and a lot of that was becoming more accepting of who I was, because for a long time as a young man and you two might nod along to this for a long time as a young man you tried to ride with the crowd and you know you wanted to fit in or you wanted to be Johnny Big Bollocks and I've been all those things and I don't like myself very much for that, but I don't give myself too hard a time because there's a lot of things I've done that's been really, really good. I've done a lot of really nice things and I've helped people that people don't know about and I don't need to put on social media because that's not what it's for, and it's in those moments that I can go. Well, that's because you've learned your lesson, son.

Speaker 3: 56:03

Powerful.

Speaker 2: 56:06

It's just I get what you. I think I get what you mean there, but I think I'm just getting decent at verbalising it. I think a lot of people think what I think and feel what I feel and are doing what I do, and they don't put on social media and it's not a love letter to their kids and they're not kissing their own backsides. They're just getting on with making the world a better place. One of my best mates is not really on social media. I know he's making a world a better place and he doesn't have to tell anybody. I admire him and he admires me and I didn't want everybody to be like me. I also don't want everybody to be like him. I just want folk to feel as comfortable as they can in their skin, and it took me to my Probably my mid-30s to be comfortable in my own skin.

Speaker 3: 56:56

Yeah, Like do you feel it's your responsibility to do it?

Speaker 2: 57:02

Yeah, I think it's everybody's responsibility to do it my and my driving force. That's not true. There's probably more. My kids are massively. I don't want my kids to roll their eyes and think, oh no, I want my kids to be really proud of me. That's probably the foundation to everything. I still need the attention and the affirmation from my parents, because they're both still here and they're phenomenal to me. My wife and I have been together since we were at school. We're a team. It's not always been smooth, she'll tell you, but knowing that she's proud of me, she doesn't have to say it. She's not as verbal as me, she's probably not as emotional as me, but I know it and she knows how I feel about her.

Speaker 2: 58:06

The need for the world to be a better place, because if I made somebody feel bad, as you've heard, I would feel horrific and I'm too selfish to feel like that. I want to feel good and I think it is my responsibility to use what I've got. And I don't mean 50,000 folk on Facebook, I just mean what I've got, the way I feel, the way I see things. If people don't like it, I hope they just ignore it, because there are people that do like it rather than say I wish you'd shut up, I'd rather they just switch me off and go and listen to somebody they want to listen to. But there are people who do like listening and I hope they keep listening and I hope I don't become white noise and they get sick of it. But I feel really privileged and grateful to what I've built and I treasure it. I would.

Speaker 2: 59:06

Someone approached me a while ago and said can I help you with? Happiness is egg shaped? And I said no, great guy, great guy, so much time for him, so many. And I said no, great guy, great guy, so much time from so many skills. And I said no, because it's my voice and it has to be my tone. And if I gave it to somebody else, so happiness egg shaped will go with me. Like when I'm done, happiness egg shaped, I'll go. I can't. It's not something anybody's going to inherit or probably want to take on, but I hope when people look at it they kind of smile or they think it's a good thing or it's a positive thing. And it came about for a few different reasons. As I keep harking on, I wanted to use it to make the world a better place. How do?

Speaker 1: 59:54

you measure that? Or how do you measure that? Or how do you do you measure that?

Speaker 2: 1:00:00

that's an interesting one. The thing has become a bit of a mantra or a preach. It's in how I feel. It's the relationships are built. It's the places I've been, the experiences we've shared and the relationships I've built. It's the places I've been, the experiences we've shared and the memories I've made, and it's too difficult to measure in other people because you've no idea what's going on behind this and I have no idea what's going on behind the facade you're putting on.

Speaker 2: 1:00:31

You can read LinkedIn all day long about being true to yourself and da-da-da-da, and there's some people in there I love and I get a kick out of watching it, but really, ultimately I can only take care of myself. I can only take care of myself, but hopefully what I can do is radiate or put out there that stuff that helps my kids, helps my wife, helps the people in front of me, helps the people I meet through business, helps the kids I teach or the players I coach or the people I'm speaking to. I did a dinner recently 180 people and I think all of them laughed at the points they were supposed to laugh up. That's, that's massive for an ego like mine and for what I like doing and for you know. But some of those people would be struggling inside but hopefully, for those moments they just laughed at what was going on because of the people they were with with the event that they were at and they maybe sounds like the cheers song. They just forgot about their troubles for a while. They just they just laughed, and in that I mean how powerful is that? How? How amazing is that gift I get, like that's huge. But also then folk come up and go oh great, you know. And I get a whatsapp after. I find it difficult to sleep after those things because my brain's just going. But you know what my brain's going.

Speaker 2: 1:02:10

I wish I'd said that. Oh, I forgot about that. Oh, I should have said it that way. So there's, you know, and this, and I've got better at that going. I could have and I should have done that, but actually it was still. It was pretty good. I've not for a while left thinking that was awful, like what. I got that wrong when I got and I have had nights like that. But I've been really lucky touch wood to say all these things. I love it, I absolutely love it. Like I love speaking to you two, like you two have. You've got no option now, because you asked me come on here, so you've got it. But it's. You learn a lot about yourself when people question you. Usually I get to do what you're doing, I get to ask the questions and then I get to learn from other people. The chance, the chance to talk is one I'm really grateful for.

Speaker 3: 1:03:05

Likewise, I enjoyed, too, being on the other side. Kristen, any final questions.

Speaker 1: 1:03:12

We're not doing final Bruce. We're going to. We're going to go as long as he lets us Um, do you think you'll always have an ego?

Speaker 2: 1:03:20

Oh yeah, a hundred percent, no question. Um, I think we've all got an ego. It's just how we portray it. You know the my ego. Sometimes I can be the quietest person in the room, believe it or not. But here's another bit to when I was a kid.

Speaker 2: 1:03:37

My dad is a storyteller and he would come home from work and we had a black and white TV in the kitchen and mum, he was ready at six o'clock because when the neighbours music came on, that was when the neighbor's music came on. That was when the three boys went to the kitchen and, like proper, like mum, did all the cooking, all the cleaning. That was just how it was. Dad went to work, he came back and at six o'clock he sat down in the BBC News. It was never ITV, it was always BBC News. It was all in the black and white telly in the corner and the five of us would sit. The boys would set a table, they'd get the brown sauce and the salt and pepper out the cupboard and put in the middle and you'd eat your tea and one of the brothers would get the diluting juices and if you ate your tea there would be tinned custard on. Maybe mum had been to Dalgety's to get an apple pie, or it was tinned fruit and ambrosia creamed rice, whatever it was for pudding, and then if you'd eaten everything, you got to go to the cupboard for a chocolate biscuit. When chocolate biscuits were that big, you got a chocolate biscuit only if you didn't everything but those kitchen tables.

Speaker 2: 1:04:49

My dad would tell stories, or my brothers would talk about what they'd done at school today, or my mum. My mum was a hairdresser and she says that she was really, really quiet until she became a hairdresser, but she took confidence from being behind the people and would talk and obviously when you're getting your hair done, there's nothing else to do but talk. So, and my mum, you'd talk the hind legs off a donkey like she's incredible. You would never think she'd been shy, but she puts it down to be a hairdresser. But those those kitchen tables are something else that we try and replicate with my kids. We try and eat together.

Speaker 2: 1:05:28

But I learned that was when politics came in. Sport came in, resilience came in. That was where a came in. Sport came in, resilience came in. That was where a lot of the learning happened, because you were getting four other viewpoints coming in to me and I was just the young one, absorbing it all and you know picking up phrases here and there and hearing about what Margaret Thatcher had done, and you know the miners, like ireland, like why is jerry adams voice? Like, why, like those were times where you were just sapping up.

Speaker 2: 1:05:58

But then, if we ever had company and my dad started telling stories, we've been in the merchant navy or the oil rigs or when he was a boy in stow and he just was, or he still is, a phenomenal storyteller and I, I just I loved that. I loved being surrounded by that, I loved being entertained and you know my uncle, jimmy, my auntie jean, got on a boat at 19 and went to new york and never came home, married jimmy hogan, an irish, irish Catholic from the Bronx, who used to carjack when he was a kid and was a postman. Jimmy Hogan was this. When I was a kid I thought he was 10 feet tall and then, as I became an adult, you realize he was actually just a normal human. But he was this big, larger-than-life American and Jimmy was a storyteller. When you went to their house in the Bronx in New York, even a meal lasted three hours because there was so much food, but Jimmy just told stories and I remember when you would arrive in New York, the first thing my uncle Jimmy would do he'd get in the car and he'd take you to Manhattan on Jimmy's tour. And he'd take you to Katzi's diner which is the one in when Harry met Sally, when she pretends to have the orgasm and he'd take you there, for we're getting a sandwich and you were talking New York sandwiches here, but he would also. That was when he would pick up a jar of pickles because he was from the Bronx. He didn't go to Manhattan unless you had tourists. And I remember these guys at the traffic lights came to wash the windscreen and Jimmy's going don't touch the windscreen. Man Don't touch the windscreen and he's banging on telling the guy to go away and the window is wound down and the guy goes oh, come on, man, you know I need some money and my uncle Jimmy goes you need some money, my stocks have down, my shares have plummeted and he just gave it to this guy. How do you say that to this guy? But that was my uncle.

Speaker 2: 1:08:00

Jimmy was this huge character, and the first time we flew to New York. We're getting off the plane and Jimmy's air site at the window up here as we're getting off the plane. Like there's my uncle, jimmy, and he's at the baggage claim because one of his cousins worked at jfk airport and I just let him come through to meet the family that he was. He could talk himself into and out of everything and anything. He got himself out of jury duty on a marijuana case and he said to him oh, have you got any strong opinions on drugs? He says, nah, I think it's going to be great when they legalize them all and then we can do whatever we want and like yeah, mr hogan, you, you won't be needed for jury duty.

Speaker 2: 1:08:44

I just I've always, I've always been entertained by those guys and you know, unfortunately some of my heroes now are like I loved watching michael barrymore as a a kid, when he did Strike it Lucky and when he did. But like I loved watching something like that that was physically funny but also could tell stories and spoke to people. And like I loved all that. I loved Bruce Forsyth. Like I was sad when Bruce Forsyth died.

Speaker 2: 1:09:10

I don't need to be famous, but I'd love to be famous enough that I go on Strictly, like that's the dream. Strictly is my favorite thing in the world, I'd pay twice the license fee just for Strictly. I would love to be on Strictly. Unfortunately I'd now be the old guy that would be voted out week one. But Strictly is because it's just entertainment. It's just, it's just pure fun and enjoyment and shouldn't be judged and well, you know I mean judged, it shouldn't be. It's just such a joyful thing and there's not enough of that. I used to, when I worked in the boys boarding house on a Saturday night, I'd have Strictly on the TV in the day room so they had to watch Strictly.

Speaker 2: 1:10:04

I just like to be entertained, like I love going to. I could go to live anything. If you're going to get up and entertain me, you'll get my full attention. I'll never heckle, I'll never complain. You could be the worst band in the world and I'll. You'll probably still get my full attention. And I remember is that a song or is that speech about um? Give, give standing ovations like I'll. I'll likely give you a standing ovation because if you're going to get up and entertain me, I'm likely going to enjoy this.

Speaker 3: 1:10:39

I respect it too. It's a bit of a tangent, but K-pop BTS don't know if you're familiar, Whether you like the music or not. My line is you need to respect them for what they're doing, the amount of effort those boys put in performing like they do, dancing and singing, Goodness gracious, that is something else I'm highly entertained.

Speaker 2: 1:11:04

We've all sat through three-year-old girls ballet shows. We clap like crazy for that. That's why I want my brothers and we clap like crazy for that. So we got it and that's why, you know, my brothers still tease me. Because when I was a kid I don't know if you guys are old enough for this, but I wanted to be in Chips, the Californian.

Speaker 2: 1:11:27

But see, I was sort of a guy then. I wanted to be in Chips. I wanted to do that to pay for me, to go through fame. So that was, those were the two TV shows in my head. I wanted to be at fame, but I knew I needed to pay for it. So I was going to be in Chips. That was the. That was like the career plan for me as a kid. But I just, you know, I loved Cheers. I was probably too young for Cheers, but I loved watching Cheers. I was probably too young for Cheers, but I loved watching Cheers. I loved American comedies when you were off school and Laverne and Shirley were on at 9 o'clock and you got to watch Laverne. No idea what the humor was, but I loved it. I thought it was funny.

Speaker 2: 1:12:05

And then you know, I want to be the lead singer. I want to be Taylor's main dancer. I want to be the one that's. I want to be the dancer in strictly, but I also want to host it with test daily. But I also want to be a judge with anton, like I. I just I don't know what it is. It's still probably that youngest of three boys who just wants the attention I would love.

Speaker 2: 1:12:30

I went to see br Bruce Springsteen at Murrayfield. I went to see Harry Styles at Murrayfield. I wanted to be both of them To have like I was at Taylor Swift recently Incredible. And I've upset Well, I've upset so many of my rugby buddies because I've said the Taylor Swift concert is the best visit to Murrayfield I've ever had. Wow. And I've ever had Wow and I've seen. I saw Scotland win the Calcutta Cup in 1990, the Grand Slam in 1990. But it was to have 70,000 people watching you and singing your words back. I mean, that's, I get a kick out of 70 people at a rugby club dinner, having 70,000 people singing the words back to you, that's, I would love to experience that just once. I'd love to experience that once. If Jim will fix it and he ruined it, that would be my letter to him.

Speaker 1: 1:13:34

Maybe Jeremy will fix it and he ruined it. That would be my letter to him. Maybe Jeremy will fix it. Do you have any?

Speaker 2: 1:13:39

regrets? No, really. I remember Dave Aldred, who is a rugby goal-kicking coach he's Johnny Wilkinson's goal-kicking coach and I read a thing that he'd said, and it was when we look back and we say how bad we were at that time and he said, but what we were doing was the best of what we had at that time. And that's how I've forgiven myself for things that people might have called regrets. I've, because I've said yes to most things. I don't think you can regret things you've done, but you can definitely regret things you've not done. There are things I would probably change and I remember having this conversation with somebody when they said life's not a rehearsal and I said, yeah, it is. And they went, no, it's not, you only get it once. I went, I know, but if you got it again something, and I said yes, and they went, no, it's not, you only get it once. I went, I know, but if you got it again, you wouldn't do it the same as you did the first time. You know, if you got another crack at it, you would surely do it differently otherwise. So that that idea of I I was doing the best I could at the time, you know I didn't work as hard as I could have at school. I could be myself up about that. I got a, a 2-2 degree in pe teaching. I could have worked harder.

Speaker 2: 1:15:04

I went to hong kong. We left hong kong. Should we have left hong kong? Yeah, because the time it was the right decision to make. We came home. We worked there. So there's there's people I've trusted. That is probably more my regret that I've, that I've not treated me the way I think I deserve to be treated. There are people I probably didn't treat as well as I should have and they deserve to be treated. Those are as close to regrets as I get, but I think both of those things I'll forgive them because maybe that was them just doing the best they could at the time with what they knew, and I'll probably give myself that benefit of the doubt as well yeah yeah, I squashed a beef today, tristan.

Speaker 3: 1:15:52

I gave someone a hug that I thought I'd never talk to again. You can probably guess who and sure what felt like a weight was lifted because at the very least, I can walk across the forecourt and not have to avoid said person.

Speaker 1: 1:16:05

Yeah, I'm a terrible example of it. But yeah, like you said earlier, the older you get, maybe not for everyone, but certainly I can relate to, to being a bit kinder, being a bit more self-aware and being a bit more comfortable and, like you said, in your own skin, or comfortable with your, your both your strengths and your flaws, and just recognizing it's, it's, it's okay, you know, and probably emotion, you know I think if you're not happy where you are, you'll have regrets because something has led you to that place and that's probably where your regrets come from.

Speaker 2: 1:16:44

I'm pretty content where I am. There are things I would love to make better. I still have anxiety towards certain things. I get twitchy about things, I get grumpy about things. There's things and I don't do well, um, but I've. All those things that happened in the previous 45 and a bit years have brought me to here and I should be pretty grateful because I'm really, really lucky and this week I've realised how lucky I am because I've never had to deal with a lot of the situation I've dealt with this week. But it's also shown me how strong a community can be and how that challenge is going to lead to others. I think I hope getting stronger and probably being more aware.

Speaker 2: 1:17:48

You know I could probably regret and say I should have done that for a minute. What if I'd done that? It's not going to bring them back and it's not going to make me feel any better and it's not actually going to make anybody else feel any better, so why would I put my energy into that? The chance we've got is this this is what I've been given. I'm not Bradley Cooper, cooper, I'd love to be uh, you know I'm. I'm not bruce springsteen, I'm not harry styles and I'm definitely not taylor swift. I get to be bruce agison, and as corny and as cheesy as it sounds, I'm the only one and that doesn't mean I'm particularly special, but it means I'm unique and I've got a chance to use what I've got to make sure I have a decent time and hopefully it's not at the expense of other people. Hopefully I can bring them along with me.

Speaker 1: 1:18:54

Hopefully I can bring them along with me. What things are?

Speaker 2: 1:19:00

on the horizon for Bruce Aitchison. On that kind of thread there's a lot. At the moment I'm going through another bit of a turn. I have to qualify as a humanist celebrant. So I've got my first wedding. I'm not sure when this is going to go out. I've got my first wedding on the 6th of July, which I'm excited for. I've got a few more in the diary.

Speaker 2: 1:19:19

Again, back to feeling grateful. What an amazing thing to be asked to be part of a day that will be remembered forever with those people. So I'm really looking forward to that. Um, my kids have got summer full of stuff that you know it's. It's just going to be incredible to literally sit and watch them do it. Um, let them go and keep becoming the people they're becoming. Hopefully, spend some, some nice time with with everybody. Um, I want to be better at spending time with my folks and my brothers. Uh, because we don't make enough time to do that.

Speaker 2: 1:20:02

I've got a few things happening professionally that are are unknown I think's probably the clearest way to put it. But with that has come a little bit of excitement. There's a fair bit of needing to catch up with people. One of the things I'm trying to do is connect to the people that deserve to be connected to, because we've not got long, so I want to go and see them and invite them here and meet up with them. And while I'm sociable, I'm not sociable enough with people that are close to me, as my wife will no doubt testify to. So the horizon's exciting. A lot of it's unknown, unknown. I've never really planned life and I I admire the people who can say I'm going to do that by then and that by then and that by then. I've never been able to do that.

Speaker 2: 1:21:03

I remember speaking to someone a while ago, kind of professionally, and one of them said um, don't be distracted by the glittery thing over here. Stay focused on your goal and don't be distracted by this thing over here. And I thought I'm always distracted by this thing over here, like that thing over there always gets my attention. I'm not a procrastinator, because I just like being distracted. And then I spoke to somebody else who said and they actually used the exact same phrase of this glittery thing over here. They said imagine if that glittery thing over there is the thing you're supposed to do. And I was like, yeah, I'm, I'm with that guy. Um, because the the number of things I've said yes to. And a friend, mine, nick DeLuca, sent me something recently and I think it was an Obama or a Stephen Bartlett or somebody like that, and said you'll never be 100% as long as you're 51% certain, then go for it. And I kind of get that.

Speaker 2: 1:22:09

I've taken on jobs that there's no way I was ready for. I've taken on challenges, like I said way I was ready for I've. I've taken on challenging like I said yes to a marathon. I mean what? Yeah, like I remember I posted something on my social media years ago saying if you ever see me running, either run with me or I'm late please stop and pick me up and give me a lift. And last year I did a marathon and my wife had to drag me around it, but I did a marathon. That's proof that pretty much anybody can do anything.

Speaker 2: 1:22:43

I did a marathon, but that was a complete spot of the moment. My wife was signing up for the marathon with her pal and we were driving on the M8 to watch Kevin Bridges, glasgow, and she's signing up in the passenger seat and I said just sign me up as well. And within 10 seconds my phone in my pocket buzzed. And when I got to glasgow and took it out, she'd read she'd registered me for the marathon. She just did it straight away and I was like knowing, like, what have I done? What have I done now? And I and speaking of social media I put on my social media straight away so that I couldn't back out, so that I had to do it because I knew if I would get pillars if I pulled out of that. So I put on my social media and, and I did this and we raised seven grand, eight grand for the foundation. Um, and people, people sent me.

Speaker 2: 1:23:38

Really I had I had three people, one person who had had really big struggles with mental health didn't really know her that well. She went and touched me through happiness egg shaped and she said look watching you posting all your videos, your marathon. I've now got back into exercise. I'm feeling miles better, my mental health's better. I'm going to yoga once a week and I've started doing couch to 5K and I say wow, like that's.

Speaker 2: 1:24:04

And see when people say if I can just help one person, I think that's horse poo, like I'm not here to help one person. I think that's rubbish. You, I'm not here to help one person. I think that's rubbish. You're not doing something just to help one person. You're helping one person across the street. You're helping one person tie their lace. But if you're doing like, that wasn't what I meant.

Speaker 2: 1:24:25

My intention was to raise money to go MND, to hopefully help people MND.

Speaker 2: 1:24:32

But the side effect was somebody felt better by watching stupid videos of me, my red face, and I didn't follow a training program and I would always go to the shop after and I posted one video of two chocolate eclairs, a bottle of coke and a packet of squashies as my post-training snack. So I was. I was obviously I was making it up, but I was just trying to make it real and better and you know I wasn't following a plan, which I should and if I ever do again, I will, but it just I didn't realize that was going to be the impact. But that made me feel 10 feet tall and I ran the next time thinking wow, and she could have done that and not said anything. But she did and she made me feel better, like how cool is that? It took her no time at all to send me a Facebook message. She'd watch some videos and I'd helped her. And then she sends a message going you helped me. I mean, how incredible is that so good?

Speaker 1: 1:25:52

do you want to ask the last question, jeremy, before we wrap things up?

Speaker 3: 1:25:55

Yeah, buzzword favourite or least favourite buzzword, please.

Speaker 2: 1:25:59

I've got so many least favourites. These are some of my bugbears. I could go on forever. We used to when I worked in Hong Kong, me and a Canadian teacher, we used to play bullshit bingo and we used to play bullshit bingo and we used to write down all the words and then in following meetings we would tick them off. And we would, because I hate when people say in terms of oh well.

Speaker 2: 1:26:24

That one winds me up In terms of so football pundits really wind me up because they'll say things In terms of football what else are you talking about? We weren't watching volleyball. When people say things are not in their wheelhouse, like when was the last time any of us were in a wheelhouse? That makes no sense. When people and two guys I used to coach rugby with used to love this.

Speaker 2: 1:26:52

I hear when people add wise to the end of things and again, I remember a football manager who will remain nameless because it winds me up so much. He said football wise. That wasn't a very good performance. What do you mean? Football wise? Why are you putting wise on the end of things? But yeah, in terms of, of. And then when people say literally and actually all the time that that winds me up. So I, I could, I could go on, but my, I don't know if these are buzzwords, but I love it when people say. I love it when people say thank you. I love when when people say I really appreciate that.

Speaker 2: 1:27:34

I think I don't know if you watch Ted Lasso. I've absolutely. I mean, that's right up my street. I've watched it three or four times. My wife got a free subscription to Apple TV for three months or six months or something, and that's. I just watched it over and over because I know that it's going to run out soon and I'm not going to get to watch it again until she gets another voucher or whatever it was she did, and he'll say to people thank you, I appreciate you, and it's just his mannerism, but it's gold to be appreciated, wow, awesome.

Speaker 3: 1:28:10

Right, awesome, right. Well, with that, bruce, it's been a pleasure. Are you tired?

Speaker 2: 1:28:22

No no.

Speaker 3: 1:28:24

No, I could listen for another hour. They usually run for an hour. This is easily the longest one we've ever done.

Speaker 2: 1:28:32

I did warn Tristan of that. I did warn him. I went through all the previous episodes. I was like there's no chance you're keeping me at 54 minutes.

Speaker 3: 1:28:41

But it has been a pleasure. Bruce, where can people find you? Where should we be following you?

Speaker 2: 1:28:47

Happiness is egg-shaped on everything from threads to Twitter or X Instagram. I don't really get Instagram, I'm too old for it. Facebook's really. Do you know where Facebook is? It's my wheelhouse Facebook normally. I'm even on TikTok and the podcast, which hopefully will come back again. But yeah, anywhere, anywhere, hit me up if you can. I actually realized as I was talking to you. I posted about what's happened this week and mental health and someone posted on it and I said, oh, give me a call. She actually called me. Well, I was speaking to you too, so I've not really walked the walk there. So I'm going to go and call her now and see how she is.

Speaker 3: 1:29:32

It's not that late yet, you can still call back. But you know what? Yeah, pleasure, appreciate everyone listening and we look forward to the next episode. Thanks, very much, thank you.